Same Sky, Different Light

With the lack of internet at home, I haven't had an opportunity to update my blog like I normally would. The past month has been spent gradually unpacking my belongings after moving out of the dorm as well as doing a lot of photography. As a result, I haven't been painting or even sketching out idea for my new project. Needless to say, I'm feeling a little guitly about it. Now that things are back in order (sort of), I have time to start thinking about my final art project for my undergraduate education.
I can't believe I'm at this point already. The last 3 years have flown by.

I have ideas of what I want to do for this project, as to what I want to communicate and the kind of emotions I'm going to need to dig up in order to create these last paintings. Last year was a time of soul searching for me, of figuring out who I am as both an artist and a human being, and where I want to go with my goals in life. I'm still in a very transitional period and the stress and expectations have become higher than ever. I wonder if I can do everything I want. Will I make it?

These last paintings will embody those thoughts and feelings. I see them as my way of recording this time in my life, in a way that writing or photographs cannot.

I'll post various sketches and ideas for the paintings soon.

Talking.
It's one of the major things I struggle with. I'm a visual person, that's why I chose to be an artist. I communicate visually better than I do verbally. Writing is fine for me. I can think when I write. I can analyze what I write. I can make drafts. I can improve it. Talking, especially in public to people that I've never met, is a big source of stress. However, as an artist presenting work in a gallery setting, it is very much needed (most of the time). I'm a strong believer in letting work speak for itself.
During critiques, I'm forced to spill my heart out about my work and what I'm trying to communicate. I have to cover the "how's?", the "why's?!", and the "what's?" of it all. That alone is enough for me, and those talks are within a classroom setting.
Late last March, however, I participated in a conference at Arcadia University. The SEPCHE Conference takes students from all different disciplines who have tirelessly worked on research, projects, presentations, films, and various visual arts and brings them together for a day to present their work.

I was talked into participating. And like most things, as desperately as I wanted to participate, when the time finally came to start formulating and rehearsing and then *gulp* presenting a speech . . . I started thinking about how nice it would be to crawl into a box and never come out again.
When everything was said and done, I was happy to have been a part of it. The process of reflecting on my work and writing about my reasons behind it felt good. It helped me make sense of it. When I work on a painting, I tend to gain meaning. I don't always start out with a clear cut meaning, just some images in my head and a vague idea of where I'm going to go with it. The process of looking back and thinking about what I've done is really rewarding, although it always takes a bit of soul searching.

This is long over due, but here is the general idea of what I talked about in regards to my first large scale oil painting in March at the SEPCHE Conference:

Hello, my name is Katrina Carroll. I am a senior at Holy Family University majoring in Art Therapy. Art has always been a big part of my life. I was in interested in art ever since I can remember. As a child, I was constantly drawing and coloring. I attended art classes in grade school and high school. My studio classes in college, however, are where I truly found my voice through my artwork. The painting that I am exhibiting today is an abstract close-up of a drill bit. The idea of using a drill bit as the subject matter for my painting appealed to me because I like the idea of taking an object that we take for granted and making it something beautiful and interesting. By blowing up the image of the drill bit onto a large canvas, details that wouldn’t normally be seen are made visible. The idea of noticing the little details in things is important to me and is something that I want to express in my work. I continuously reinterpret everyday life in order to draw attention to the things people overlook. I could have chosen almost any small ordinary object for this painting but a drill bit appealed to me on two levels: I could enlarge the image of the drill bit to make the small details visible and I knew that a drill bit was an object that I would enjoy painting. I liked the challenge of painting a reflective metal surface. It was really important for me to create the feeling of metal in this painting. . At this point in my education, I am experimenting with as many different media as possible. I work with photography, drawing, graphic design, collage, sculpture, and oil painting. . I incorporated various different media into my process while working on this painting. I used photography to take photos of an actual drill bit in order to capture how I wanted it to appear in the painting. After editing the picture in Photoshop, I printed it out and used an opaque projector to enlarge the image onto my canvas. Once the image was transferred to canvas, I used the photos of the drill bit as a reference. I feel like something is lost by working straight from photos however, so I made sketches while observing the actual drill bit in order to record the highlights and shadows of the metal. It was really important to me to get the feeling of metal in my painting. In order to decide what colors to use and the most effective compositions for the painting, I made several small sketches and thumbnails experimenting with different compositions and colors. I felt that the red background behind the drill bit created an exciting feeling that draws attention to the details in the drill bit. A white halo effect around the drill bit was added later on to make it pop out from the background.This painting was completed last semester and I feel that it was a good starting point for my work in oil painting. I still have an interest in using my art to draw attention to things that people do not commonly notice every day.

Since the conference, this painting now has a new home. It will soon be on display at my late great-grandfather's company- Marking Device.
My great uncle now runs the company, and they are very excited about having the painting on display. This painting is very significant to me after the death of my great-grandfather, because the image of a drill bit is something that I carry with me from my childhood. I remember being a little girl, running around my great-grandparent's house and going through my grandfather's work shop full of random tools and odds and ends. I would make little toys and sculptures from them and give them to my great-grandparents. These memories are things that I did not think about when I first started working on this painting. Looking back, these memories make me feel even more of a connection to the painting. I know that my great-grandfather would have been proud of me. I'm proud that my great aunt and uncle even considered having my painting on display there. It means so much to me and I'm extremely excited!

I've thought about doing an entire series based off of the idea I originally started out with- bringing significance to the seemingly commonplace objects we pass by everyday. I may do more paintings based off of this idea while incorporating some of my most vivid childhood memories as well.

Thanks for reading!